More Inner Weeding

gloved weed

I was hoping that healing prayer would help me get “unstuck” so I could more freely move in the direction of finding the right career.   As I mentioned in my last post, I made an appointment at my church for healing prayer because I was hoping to find answers, but realized at the end of the first session that what I really needed  was healing. A second prayer session revealed something even more significant. I learned  that I had been speaking lies to myself, and by doing so, had been cursing myself for years.  It was the lies and cursing that was killing me,  that brought me  despair, not the lack of meaningful career. 

A curse is defined as “a solemn utterance intended to invoke a supernatural power to inflict harm or punishment on someone or something.” A passage in the Bible reads “The  tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat of its fruit. ”  Words we say have power. Words spoken by parents are powerful because parents have spiritual authority over their children. The power of the spoken word also applies to words spoken to ourselves. As Christians, the words we declare to ourselves have spiritual authority because we have spiritual authority in Christ. Fortunately, the person who says the curse also has the power to retract it and cancel its power. 

During the prayer session, I learned how to renounce the lies I had been speaking to myself.

Here are some of the lies: 

You are a failure.
You are trash.
You should’ve made better choices.
You should’ve been able to make better choices.
You should’ve known better.
You went to Stanford, but now look at you. What a waste of your parents’ money.
You had a chance to be successful, but you messed up.
You were too idealistic, now look at you.
You are such a coward. You went into teaching even though you didn’t like it from the beginning.
You keep repeating the same mistake. You are like a dog returning to its vomit.
You are never going to make money. You are always going to be scraping by.
You will never find work that you enjoy.
No matter what you do, you won’t be able to figure it out.
You should’ve figured out what you wanted to do before kids. Now look at you.
It’s too late to be the person you want to be.

After I renounced the lies and curses, I started to replace the lies with the truth. This is a process and I have to do it often.  

Lie:     You are a failure.
Truth:  I have failed at some things, but I  have also been successful at some things. Despite my mistakes, “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” Psalm 16:6     

Lie: You are trash.
Truth: My worth is not based on my achievements. 

Lie:    You should’ve made better choices.
Truth: I’ve made some good choices and some bad ones. I’ve learned form the bad ones. 

Lie: You should’ve been able to make better choices.
Truth: I did the best you could. I are making better choices now. 

Lie: You should’ve known better.
Truth: I am growing in wisdom. The Holy Spirit counsels me. 

Lie: You went to Stanford, but now look at you. What a waste of your parents’ money.
Truth:   I learned to write at Stanford and that unlocked world for me. I am thankful for  their investment. My degree has opened doors for me. 

Lie:        You had a chance to be successful, but you messed up.
Truth:    God is not limited by my choices. And we know that in all things God  works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28

 Lie:       You were too idealistic, now look at you.
Truth:   “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

Lie:        You are such a coward. You went into teaching even though you knew it wasn’t a right match during your credential program. 
Truth:     I am growing in faith and confidence. I changed lives as a teacher. 

Lie:        You keep repeating the same mistake. You are like a dog returning to its vomit.
Truth:   God’s mercies are new every morning.

Lie:       You are never going to make money. You are always going to be scraping by. Truth:  God has richly provided for all our needs. My children are not spoiled and have learned to be frugal. I am rich in experiences and relationships, in non-material things. 

Lie:      You will never find work that you enjoy.
Truth:   I enjoy many things in my life. I enjoy ballet class, nature, my kids, friends. Life is more than work. I enjoy my current job supervising student teachers. I enjoy  helping my clients with mini makeovers. I enjoy my independence as a realtor.  My work is constantly evolving. 

 Lie:    No matter what you do, you won’t be able to figure it out.
Truth: I am making progress. 

Lie:    You should’ve figured out what you wanted to do before kids. Now look at you.
Truth:  I tried my best. New adventures await me. 

Lie:     It’s too late to start a new career
Truth:  It is never too late to reinvent yourself. 

Lie:     It’s too late to be the person you want to be
Truth:  I am growing each day in many areas of my life. I am redefining success. 

The lies and curses were not erased immediately. They’ve been weakened over time, and I continue to fight against them. Amazingly,  a deeper understanding of the truth statements began developing over the next several years in remarkable ways. New truths continue to emerge.  I look forward to sharing my discoveries. 

 ………

Questions for Discussion:  Can you relate to the power of life and death in words? What words have been spoken over you?  What words do you  regularly speak to yourself?  How can you speak words of life to those you love?

References:
 Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death
I Give You Authority by Charles Kraft

Here is a general script of what I prayed to renounce these lies: 
I renounce the curse spoken to me by (name of person( who said, “_________.” I now cancel and break this curse in Jesus’ name and I choose not to kive under the influence of this curse any longer.   Lord, thank you for setting me free and removing the curses spoke by (name of person). I choose not to hold any resentment or bitterness towards them any longer and I bless (name) in Jesus’ name. Amen. (Ed Salas 2011)

 2 Corinthians 10:4  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

Author: Patricia Tina Wu

I'm a teacher educator, realtor, mom, and now also a blogger. I've worked in corporate sales and marketing and as an elementary school teacher. Settling into a career has always been difficult for me. I hope that my experiences will help career seekers, young people, and their parents navigate what is sometimes a confusing and difficult area of life. I'm not out of the desert yet, but things are finally starting to make more sense.

3 thoughts on “More Inner Weeding”

  1. So powerful! It is true – I live with my own confusion of lies and truths based on my past and current culture. I catch myself speaking from the same confusion to my own daughters….Thank you for sharing. It helps to know I am not alone.

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  2. Hello, Tina. In reading much of your blog, I am touched by your sincerity, inner humanity, and willingness to share many uncomfortable experiences that have helped to shape your life. Despite your many fears, you strike me as a courageous individual, as you lay your soul bare for public consumption.

    I share with you a Taiwanese-American heritage, and I love that you spent time in Taiwan broadening your horizons. You see, that is something I would have been hesitant to do myself – living in an unfamiliar land, speaking a different language (my Mandarin is quite mediocre), with different customs and way of life to have to adjust to. We all struggle with inner demons and fears on a daily basis, but it is admirable how you went on many adventures, and now have chosen blogging, presumably as a creative and emotional outlet, to share your story and your vulnerabilities.

    It is a bit unclear whether you are currently in a good place career-wise (last thing you mentioned was realtor, but your thumbnail description suggests you moved on from that to blogging). While reading this post on inner weeding, it struck me what you might be good at. Given your gift for expression, diverse experiences, patience, desire to help others, and capacity for empathy, I think you could be an excellent therapist! Of course, this would require more schooling (which you are no stranger to), but it seems that, in the grand scheme of things, the extra time needed for that may not be excessive.

    I thought I would leave you with that, and I will root for you as you continue to strive for success in life.

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